A Warning of Darkness

I have been called. I am utmost shaken by the news I am receiving. My very own grandmother, was taken away from the comfort of my home. Better yet, right on Christmas Eve.

Today I discover the truth, and have surprised my self of how equal I have grown to be like my mother. Every day, I unravel a piece of her tightly bound thread which she holds so close to her self, to her heart; like a deep dark secret. For years I have been trapped in a horrible storm that is my family’s stories. I always feel like I’m not being told something; always something; but never quite the total truth. Each time I steer my boat to the shores, a giant whirl-pool appears and drags me into the ocean; under the water, and into misery.

Every family is said to have a “skeleton” in their closets. In horror, I realize…..I am the skeleton. More than once, have I both amused myself, as well as horrified: I am but a darkened mirror, showing to the ones that get too close only what they need and want to see. Never letting them experience what is truly traveling through my mind, or what is boiling deep inside my weeping heart. I am happy, in a way, that no one knows the real beast that dwells with-in. The things I’ve seen, the things I have been through will never be equal to the sadness of a broken heart, or a stolen toy. But worse of all; I have another burden to add to the ever-growing cross I drag around on my broken back – Death.

“Thou shall surely die. And along the way so will the ones you hold dear. Protect them as you can, because when they are taken into the realm of shadow and sorrow, you will be all alone.” My aunt said to me on the telephone, millions of miles away. She told me that there are greater secrets that my mother holds deep in her; that kill her everyday; secrets that should never be passed on to another. But I want to know anyhow. In a way it is always part of our nature to want to know- Curiosity. It killed a cat, so why should it not entitled to kill us?

I only am left to wonder,  as I hang up the phone, when I am enlightened with these deathly sorrows my mother holds back in her faded green eyes each day, will I too, stumble under the now humongous cross, and fall into the un-holy mud, disintegrating with the first taste of these deadly truths and utmost horrible lies, only to be blown away by the wind, and to be forever forgotten in the Darkness of Time?

 

 

Am I prepared?