A Mirror Image.

She stared at the mirror in deathly silence,
Her hair was dirty and tied with rope.
The world outside was full of violence,
But her own reflection gave her hope.

A tear went down her perfect cheek,
Like a dove plummeting down from the blue,
Crashing in pile of feather 'nd beak.
She hoped the image outside would be untrue.

For in her mirror which filled her gaze,
Hope and love slept
And dreamt of better days.
It was only her who now wept.

When men were angry at each other for reasons now gone rotten,
when the armies attacked each other then,
And left the world withered and forgotten
The spirits of good fortune, went into hiding once again.

She'd faced the daemons, who tried with out luck
To steal her mirror,
but in the reflection of bliss and happiness they all got stuck.
No one of ill fate had ever gotten nearer.

But she saw beyond the good
that the mirror used to show.
It's fatal flaw was understood-
she blew out that candle with the only glow.

And then the spirits were free,
from that wretched broken glass
"To fill the world with good" was their guarantee.
and the first change came to the withered grass.

And the world began to fall back into it's rightful place,
The women picked up what was left of the reflection
And her other stared into her face.
And then she understood that the Hope and Love only masked away the true beauty that she never saw before....

...Her Mirror Image.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I feel so worn out today. I try to move but my body wants to stay the same. Its bad for me to put so much energy into one thing that the rest of the day feel like crap. The poem that I wrote above (Although it begs to be edited) is trying to capture in essence that sometimes we must not be afraid to take away all other feelings that may be making a picture look so wonderful, and embrace what the reality is - come out of the mask - and see the image for what it really is.

"I won't believe the horror that I see
Is more than your poison inside me
Lets tear away these faces we hide behind
Cutting through the airwaves
Open up our minds
Show ourselves to the world tonight
Cause we are... No longer in disguise!"
-Faces - Scary Kids Scaring Kids

A Mad Man's Tirade

You're terrible.
Okay, maybe in the lightest meaning of the word - but you still are. You cant even make a conversation, much less pretend you care. Okay okay, I dont hate you. It's just a dream. That's what everything feels like. I dont understand anything anymore. I catch myself sometimes, as if I am breaking free of a spell. The best way I can describe it is trying to break to the surface of a current in a river. You can do it for so long,until you mindlessly fall back into the waves. There's no drowning under them either...just a feeling of indifference. It's this "current" that drives me around my day. I get up, go to school, eat lunch, talk to people, go back to class after lunch, go home, and do my homework. There are times when I snap out of it - these are the times when I'm doing something extreme and not something I should be doing (...like when I talked to you about everything on the subway train.) - and I ask myself, "What? Did all that just happen? I cant believe I didn't react to that.". But then I just take a deep breath and let the current take me back in...

I'll probably never talk to you again. And yet...

Nope. Nothing. The Garden that once falsely seemed to flourish for you, has now wilted and curled into a dead clump of rotting petals and bark. Dont worry, it's not you. It's not. it's just...frustration. It's the inability to process information.

Nope, I dont like you. I just...I forgot myself. Stabilo once sang:

"Stick around i got a hunch, we'll bomb this town and stop for lunch and never, nevermind these awful cries it's not as real if you don't look in their eyes"

Im crazy, heheh!
If I am, then whatever. This song thats been playing for a few months is drawing to a close anyway, and I was okay with how it's been delivered.

Do I hate you? No, never. I'll never hate you. They say that the five stages of dying are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. For relationships I believe it feels more like bargaining, depression, denial, anger and acceptance. And maybe it's even worse than dying, because you feel everything all at once. The closest thing to hate is anger i guess, but I'm not angry with you. I'm angry at me.

At any rate, I just dont want to talk to you, because to talk to you is a lot like talking to myself with pre-recorded "Hum."s and "Yeah."s .....Just like a pitch black sky-rid of all but a few stars that shine a little when I raise my voice. Sure, once in awhile, a firework will blast through the darkness, and I'll remember why I once liked you - but fireworks seem to run out quickly with you. And the stars can fade with time. And then whats left? Just a pitch black sky.

You're going to avoid me now, I know it. I dont mind. I respect all your choices, so Im going to stop looking up. I'm going to stop trying to gaze at the pitch black sky - waiting for a shooting star or any other sign of life... I'm going to turn around, and head back home.